“I never told anyone because if I did I would no longer be myself anymore. Growing up my mother taught me to be strong in my beliefs and independent in my thoughts, and when that couldn’t happen I lost all consciousness. I was being dragged into this world of lies I would have never wish to be a part of if I had just known better. I can’t react because of all of the dangers and… and... consequences that would follow me. It’s a moment in time that I wish I could erase from my life but I have no control of that. So you need to understand why it hasn’t been told, why I’ve kept it hidden. Nothing would be the same.”
She sat at the edge of her bed, head down, staring at her callused feet and bony ankles unable to remember the last time she felt comfortable in her own skin.
“How has it affected you up until this point?... What about it has driven you here?”
“I can’t say. My friends no longer call or visit. The only interaction I have is with the spiders in the dark crevices of my room.”
Her fingers now trying to pull at lint on the edge of her blanket.
“But that’s what you’ve chosen to do correct? To stay here?”
She stared blankly at the white wall in front of her and then back at him, her fingers no longer reaching for the lint that wasn’t even there in the first place.
“I had to. There was no other way.” Her voice was stern.
“I understand. Please don’t get me wrong. But if you’ve never told anyone then why should you feel the need to put yourself in this position?” He tilted his head, elbow on the arm of his navy blue leather chair, his index and middle finger rested on his lips, his thumb lightly holding up his chin, his eyebrows furrowed. He couldn’t quite figure her out. It was as though being here was her safe haven. But who would voluntarily make this place their permanent home?
“YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND!” she said as she threw a pillow across the room. “If I had stayed at my place I would have… “
“You would have what?” His eyes lit up as if manna from heaven came down from the clouds. “You would have what?!”
She sat back down breathing slowly fidgeting with her fingers, pulling at the stray skin around her nail beds, “I would have hurt him....”
A little background on this story, I stumbled on this while trying to find some inspiration to write something... different so to speak. I opened my USB drive that still has a lot of my work from college and found this piece hidden on a file called "Week1FirstPage". I had no idea this would be the story I would find. I honestly can't even remember where I wanted this story to go back then but reading it back after all these years and feeling the story intensify, I knew I had to post it for you all to read. So I did some minor editing, just changing some words around and adding some more description, and after doing some researched decided to title it "201" which is the code for a "Voluntary Admission" where a patient voluntarily admits themselves in a psychiatric unit in a hospital.
Hope you enjoyed and don't forget to LIKE, COMMENT and/or SUBSCRIBE!
**This is an original piece of fiction written by Desiree Gaitan. The stories belong to her. Names, characters, business, events and incidents are the products of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.
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